tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63257932024-02-08T09:46:36.884-05:00Public Speaker #1Effective public speaking and communicating. It's about your success.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-10584037062778698472009-09-16T11:16:00.004-04:002009-09-16T11:33:28.572-04:00Aim HigherThe post "<a href="http://www.lockergnome.com/oztech/2009/09/15/having-trouble-finding-a-job-aim-higher/">Having Trouble Finding a Job? Aim Higher</a>" really struck a chord with me. The author (<a href="http://www.lockergnome.com/oztech/">Oztech</a>) makes the case that you should lift your sights for a very practical and pragmatic reason - to look for jobs which require more of the worker and are ideally offer fewer competitors. This is reasonable advice.<br /><br />But, buried more deeply in the post is the message that you need to <em><strong>aim higher in all things</strong></em> - improve your skills to expand your aspirations, work to present yourself better and to take advantage of opportunities and challenges that expand your horizons. <a name='more'></a>All in all, I think it amounts to "not sitting still". Whatever you do that a potential employer or client sees and allows you to set yourself apart will benefit your career.<br /><br />As you can tell, I believe that improving your communication and presentation skills are a key and achievable way to do this. It all comes down to "How high do you want to aim?"Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-2433576533779425592009-05-19T15:40:00.008-04:002009-09-16T11:34:30.078-04:00C.A.L.M. when speakingYou strive to be calm when speaking in public, right? Here's why - you want to be:<br /><span style="font-size: 130%;">C.A.L.M.</span>when speaking.<br /><blockquote><span style="font-size: 130%;"><strong>C</strong></span>olorful<br /><span style="font-size: 130%;"><strong>A</strong></span>rticulate<br /><span style="font-size: 130%;"><strong>L</strong></span>ively<br /><span style="font-size: 130%;"><strong>M</strong></span>odulated</blockquote><br />Yes, it's an acronym, a mnemonic (Professional hazard as I am an engineer by trade and mien.)<br /><a name='more'></a><br />I use this when creating and delivering a presentation - it's an easy way to remember the following keys for a successful speech.<br /><ul><li><strong><span style="font-size: 130%;">C</span></strong>olorful - Use words and phrases that create pictures and carry emotion. </li><li><strong><span style="font-size: 130%;">A</span></strong>rticulate - Keep in mind your goal for the presentation, be organized and precise in your presentation. Try to make the complex simple and not the other way around.</li><li><strong><span style="font-size: 130%;">L</span></strong>ively - Use your body to communicate, your face to show emotion, your location in the room to make sure you are seen and heard, your hands to emphasize and demonstrate.</li><li><strong><span style="font-size: 130%;">M</span></strong>odulated - Use your voice fully, vary your volume, pitch, tempo and speed. Speak softly to draw the audience in, loudly to excite them. </li></ul>CALM your next speech presentation and delivery - and see how it helps. Each point will be dissected in detail in future posts.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-90603868549679097932009-05-19T14:15:00.006-04:002009-05-26T13:24:59.717-04:00An oft-overlooked skill - taking meeting minutesFrom Lockergnome, Diana Huggins presents <a href="http://www.lockergnome.com/it/2009/05/18/meeting-minutes-101/">Meeting Minutes 101.</a> This points things to do in preparation for a meeting that make it easier to take good notes and minutes.<br /><br />I reccomend reading it as she offers helpful points on taking effective meeting minutes - a task frequently done poorly.<br /><br /><p>I think the article is missing one important point - <em>always be ready to take meeting minutes</em>.<br /><br />I'm guilty of the "if I ignore it, it'll go away" syndrome. You are too, I'll wager.<br /><br />I have worked myself into the state of dreading having to take minutes - thus I do everything to be unprepared to do so - all in the hope that I won't have to, someone else will, they won't be needed, etc. and etc. Generally a bad plan - an approach to fail.<br /><br />Rethinking this approach and instead taking these tips to heart is much more realistic. Here's a way to look at it:<br /></p><ul><li>If I'm going to spend my time in a meeting, then I'm probably going to take notes, since the act of taking notes helps fix the discussions, the issues and my thoughts firmly in my mind.</li><li>Now, if I'm going to take notes, there's really not a lot of difference between the preparations and techniques for me as a simple note-taking participant as compared to a "scribe" (minutes-taker). These tips are in the article by <a href="http://www.lockergnome.com/it/2009/05/18/meeting-minutes-101/">Diana</a>.</li><li>So, my thinking goes, I'm actually ready to "take minutes" for most any meeting I attend.</li></ul><p>So where Diana suggests: </p><blockquote><p>"If you find yourself having to take meeting minutes, here are a few pointers"... </p></blockquote>Instead, read that as "<em>Since you're always prepared to take good meeting notes and minutes</em>, here are a few pointers..."Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1170191480357350652007-01-30T15:42:00.000-05:002007-01-30T16:37:41.670-05:00It's "Democratic"And I quote GW Bush (aka #43 or POTUS) from the State of the Union address<br /><blockquote>"<span style="color:#006600;">and I congratulate the <em>Democrat</em> majority."</span><br /></blockquote><br />Remember this is an example of the exactitude and detail some speeches merit. This one phrase was commented on extensively and noted as an <a href="http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x23214">insult</a> and a <a href="http://mediamatters.org/items/200701240002">slam</a> and a <a href="http://economistsview.typepad.com/economistsview/2007/01/ic.html">jab</a>. And <a href="http://www.thecarpetbaggerreport.com/archives/9766.html">this</a> offers<br />some in-kind names such as "Republicant".<br /><br />But all this is a digression of function over form.<br /><br />It was a <strong>grammatical blunder</strong> - which is simply poor form. "Democrat" is a noun, "Democratic" is an adjective.<br /><br />If the president gets raked over the coals for it, do you expect to escape in any better shape?Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1156273184776292022006-08-22T14:59:00.000-04:002007-01-30T15:42:45.596-05:00Geek + Blog = Glog?<a title="HaloScan Commenting and Trackback" href="http://www.haloscan.com/" rel="tag">Haloscan</a> commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1156266065971903302006-08-22T12:54:00.000-04:002006-08-29T13:35:18.363-04:00Sure I'd like a standing ovation....My biggest problem with "<a href="http://blog.guykawasaki.com/2006/01/how_to_get_a_st.html">How to get a standing ovation</a>" lies in the first point:<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-family:arial;"><strong>Have something interesting to say.</strong> This is 80% of the battle. If you have<br />something interesting to say, then it's much easier to give a great speech.<br />If you have nothing to say, you should not speak.</span><br /></blockquote><br />This is interesting a quandry in Toastmasters, since you <em>have</em> to speak. Thus you must wrack your brain and think, think, think for someting interesting to say. It's there, you must just find it or <em>invent it</em>. Note point 7. People love stories and if you think about your life, your week, your day you'll have a story.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1156264963823040012006-08-22T12:23:00.000-04:002006-08-22T12:42:43.940-04:00Ideas and tips for <a href="http://greatpublicspeaking.blogspot.com/2004/10/tips-for-fantastic-openings.html">opening your speeches</a>. I like the idea of "Make points that people agree on first". This is also an effective, if not over-used, sales technique <em>"get them saying yes". </em>If you can do this humorously, all the better.<br /><br />One of the hardest things when speaking is to remain calm. Now personally, I believe in the "Fake til you Make it" school of thought - act calm and you will become calm. But how do you "act calm"? Try to control and concentrate on those things you can control, such as your breathing, expression and gestures. Do not forget about your <a href="http://greatpublicspeaking.blogspot.com/2006/06/public-speaking-start-low.html">voice</a> . Work at starting at a lower pitch than normal to give yourself some room to go higher as your excitement and passion crescendo. This also helps to present a calm facade.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1156257742765562842006-08-22T10:26:00.000-04:002006-08-22T12:17:32.863-04:00Write to speakHave you noticed how many good speakers are also writers? Doesn't it seem that many of the greatest speeches were given with few or no notes. Was there no formal preparation? Was the speaking was extemporaneous?<br /><br />No. There was written preparation by great speakers for great speeches. Additionally, there was a body of writing done by the speaker that helped them build their ideas and formed the foundation for speaking.<br /><br />Consider Winston Churchill - an inspiring speaker and author with a large body of <a href="http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/literature/laureates/1953/churchill-bio.html">work</a>. Martin Luther King Jr. - he left behind voluminous <a href="http://www.stanford.edu/group/King/mlkpapers/">writings </a>both public and private. Abraham Lincoln - an Attorney, the schooling for and practice of consists largely of writing.<br /><br />Look around, you'll find the people that are the best speakers have a background in writing, a habit of writing. I know many lawyers. I've seen lawyers trained and seen the changes that training causes. Lawyers write, a lot. It's a key element of their schooling and their practice. When they speak, it's well organized and purposeful. They learned by rote, through practice - writing.<br /><br />In short, this had led me to the conclusion that I need to write more.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1143667067185059462006-03-29T15:41:00.000-05:002006-08-22T10:25:55.516-04:00Thinking aheadHow often do you open your mouth, start talking, and then, after a few effortless sentences escape, hear what you said and <em>realize that it is almost total gibberish</em>? Meaningless. Vacuous and content-free.<br /><br />I have noticed occasions of that recently. Today I recovered from babbling episode using a technique that rarely works. I kept talking. Normally this only exaggerates the babbling but - I was able to focus and come up with an organization. I made much more sense the second time around. And it was much more succinct.<br /><br />In extemporaneous speech - talking off the top of your head - you need a plan. Not a complicated one - but a plan nonetheless. You need to know where you are going in order to get there. It is much more interesting for the listener that way.<br /><br />Think of a joke. The destination is the punch line. If you don't make it to the punch line, the joke is dead.<br /><br />I reorganized today's verbal diarrhea to follow a timeline. And I knew where the timeline ended-up. I wanted to describe how a program I was testing was working and also tell how I got into the not working state.<br /><br />Version one:<br />"On my machine the website gives an error, even though I tried resetting the config files and that is a different problem than what Steve is having after we used a clean build on his system and we've checked for other differences."<br /><br />Version two:<br />"On my system and Steve's we reset the config files. We did a clean build on Steve's system. We didn't find any differences. We get different website errors on both systems."<br /><br />So version two isn't scintillating reading, but it was much more effective and communicating what was going on. I simply organized my thoughts to follow the list of things we did, making sure the punch line was "We get different errors on both systems". When the organization came to me I felt that even I understood things better.<br /><br />So, come up with the punch line first then map out an organization for getting there.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1124919039654038172005-08-24T17:20:00.000-04:002006-01-29T13:23:46.013-05:00For the record...I've been practicing recently for various speeches and even some phone calls. When I don't have anyone to evaluate me, I have to be my own worst enemy and drag out an audio or video recorder then proceed to evaluate myself.<br /><br />It's painful. The voice that I think has a somewhat sonorous tone is nasal and high. The smooth and flowing hand gesture is quick and jerky.<br /><br />Always very educational. The second and third takes are significantly better as a result of review. Try it. You might not like it, but whomsoever listens to you afterwards will.<br /><br />Not brain surgery, but effective nonetheless.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1115742767471234172005-04-10T19:18:00.000-04:002005-05-10T12:32:47.490-04:00Icebreaker ReduxThis was my first speech to this Toastmasters Club (SpeakEasier). It's a second Icebreaker, given about 13 years after earning my CTM (Competent Toast Master). I wanted to 'wow' the audience, enrich them and engage them.<br /><br />However, the best and first goal for an Icebreaker is to introduce yourself. Simply introduce yourself. Let the listeners know you as a person.<br /><br />The result? Somewhere amidst the eleven (11!) "ahhs" and "umms", I managed to cram in three speeches. In 7+ minutes. Needless to say, it gave short shrift to introducing me. Whoops.<br /><br />I tried to accomplish too much in such a short speech. I felt hurried doing it and I should've known. I also worked hard on the opening - memorizing it and refining it - and I pitched overboard, starting completely differently.<br /><br />At least one of the positive comments I received was that I had managed "to organize and fit so much into such a short speech".<br /><br />Unfortunately, I think this left most of the content spilling over onto the floor as I overworked the retentive capabilities of my listeners. Sigh.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1112796583484691712005-04-06T10:00:00.000-04:002005-04-06T10:27:34.736-04:00Speaking Today - My Ice BreakerI am speaking today at lunch. I have five to seven minutes to introduce myself as part of my CTM #1 exercise in <a href="http://victorian.fortunecity.com/pinter/873">Toastmasters</a>. The CTM #1 is the first speaking exercise in the Competent Toastmaster Manual of the <a href="http://www.toastmasters.org">Toastmasters International </a>training. Its called the "The Ice Breaker" and the purpose is to introduce myself as well as 3 or 4 interesting aspects of me and my life.<br /><br />I am looking forward to it. I will speak, I will be evaluated - getting valuable feedback on how I can improve. My Evaluator has a rubric to use, noting things such as:<br /><ul><li>What strong points does the speaker already have?</li><li>How well did the audience get to know the speaker?</li><li>Did the speech reflect adequate preparation?</li><li>What are one or two specific suggestions you can make to help the speaker improve?</li></ul><p>There are more, but you should get the idea.</p>I'm going to try to give as well as get during this speech, so I am presenting some listening tips as part of my speech... and then presenting a "quiz" to check their listening. It will be fun. More on the structure and results later.<br /><br />This (Toastmasters) is the best program around, as I belabored in <a href="http://publicspeakerone.blogspot.com/2004/05/speakers-silver-bullet.html">The Speakers Silver Bullet </a>.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1112650361824687752005-04-04T16:11:00.000-04:002005-04-04T17:32:41.826-04:00Inventing AnswersYou are asked a question, basically given a topic upon which to discourse. Except it's not a question that has a ready answer. The "Turn knob B and push the start button" sort of instruction won't cut it. Think in terms of the "tell me about yourself" or "why do you think we should do X" sort of landmine-ridden question.<br /><br />What do you do?<br /><br />Instantly there are perhaps dozens of things to talk about and paralysis sets in as you try to connect these into a coherent whole. In short, what will you say?<br /><br />As it happens, the study of Rhetoric has developed to answer just that question. One of the canons of rhetoric is "inventio" and it <a href="http://humanities.byu.edu/rhetoric/silva.htm">concerns finding something to say</a>. Inventio or "invention" provides tools for picking out what to say. A key guide is the <em>topoi </em>(literally "<em>places to find things</em>") also known as topics of invention. The topics are categories of relationships between ideas which help you discover things to say about a topic.<br /><br />Grab one of the topics (some of which you should have stored away in memory in case of an "extemporaneous emergency"), and use it to quickly guide you in organizing and creating your ideas on a given topic.<br /><br />One of the topics is "Antecetedent and Consequence": Given a certain situation (the antecedent), what is likely to follow (the consequence)? This often takes the form of an "if...then" structure.<br /><br />Given the "why do you think we should do X" sort of question, you can grab onto the antecedent easily and work down, layer by layer with this structure. "If we do X, then Y will happen. If Y happens then our world will be good because of Z. Z is what will cause revenue to increase since..." etc.<br /><br />The topics are <a href="http://publicspeakerone.blogspot.com/2004/08/what.html">questions</a> you can ask of your topic, to dissect it and reconstruct it as a speech.<br /><br />Right now, this same invention is at work. Given that I wanted to introduce the inventio, what answers does it provide?<br /><br />Well, if you do not have a ready answer to a question, then you need some ready tools for discovering an answer. As such, you can rely on the ideas of rhetoricians past to help discover it. <br /><br /><a href="http://humanities.byu.edu/rhetoric/silva.htm">Silva Rhetoricae</a> is an excellent source for rhetorical tools, including the Topoi. If you have never researched the value of Rhetoric in your speaking, give this site a view. Take a look at the topoi and see how they will help the invention of your next speech.Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1109959546325438782005-03-03T23:52:00.000-05:002005-04-04T15:52:34.203-04:00How to Say it - Structure your speakingLet's look at why and how you should structure your speech to best achieve your goals.<br /><br />When you are speaking, just as when you are writing, you need to drop your thoughts, advice, ideas and observations into a structure - an order - that allows your listener to understand what you are saying and aids remembering what you said.<br /><br />When you write, the structure starts as an outline. You take your main point and all of the bits and pieces that support it, order them, organize them and reorganize them - until you have fashioned a skeleton off of which you'll hang the rich fullness of your ideas and words. Ideally, your reader will use this skeleton to remember your words and ideas.<br /><br />With speaking - particularly extemporaneously - you need a structure even more. The structure is a map to your thoughts and a filing system for the listener.<br /><br />Important points about structuring your speaking:<br /><br /><p>The structure of spoken communication is different than written communication. Even if you aren't working from a prepared speech, you need to have a structure, for the benefit of your listeners. With the written word, you can use a list and won't need to repeat it, since readers can just look back at it. In a speech or conversation, there usually isn't a replay button, so you'd need to present and repeat the list as you go, to keep the listener up to date.</p><p>You also need a structure to help yourself as a speaker. When you are writing, you can review your words to make sure you have achieved your goal by the end. If you stray off your path, you can edit to fix this. No such luck with the spoken word. If you forget your goal and stray off the beaten path, you lose both yourself and your listeners. Your structure helps you to remember where you are and where you are going as a speaker</p><p>These differences between the written and spoken word means the structure of a great speech will make sure that the listeners won't need a replay button, and you won't walk away having missed your goal.</p><p>So much for <em>why </em>to structure your speech. <em>How</em> to do it is straightforward. I have learned a simple structure for speaking, which allows avoiding the pitfalls discussed a moment ago.</p><p>Here's the structure:</p><ol><li>Tell them what you are going to tell them. </li><li>Tell them. </li><li>Tell them what you told them. </li></ol><p>Start your comments by telling your listeners what you are going to be talking about. Summarize the goal you're headed for. <em>Tell them what you are going to tell them.</em></p><p>Once you have warned your listeners where you are all going, take them on the ride, tell them what you have to say. This is the meat of your remarks. <em>Tell them.</em></p><p>To finish review the goal and summarize how you reached it. <em>Tell them what you told them.</em></p><p>This structure is simple, easy to remember and applicable to entire speeches, sections within speeches, short remarks - just about anything, including written words like these.</p><p>This organization allows you to repeat yourself, without repeating yourself. You take the outline or list of important points along with you through the whole speech, so that the listener can remember it without reviewing it. You give the listener advance warning of what is coming so that they can better understand what you are saying while you are saying it. </p><p>And you as a speaker have a much better idea of where you are and where you are heading as you speak.</p><p>I think that I have used many of these points in this very article. I tried to tell you up front that this is about <em>how</em> to structure your speech and <em>why</em>. Then I told you, using some repetition so that you wouldn't need to go backwards. And now I'm summarizing - telling you that the simple: Tell 'em what you're going to tell them; Tell 'em; Tell 'em what you've told them structure - is a key tool for effective speaking.<br /></p>Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1093405133443240752004-08-26T23:14:00.000-04:002005-04-04T15:59:03.603-04:00Persuasive Listening<blockquote><p>Listening well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk<br />well. - John Marshall </p></blockquote><br /><p>Most people think that sales is simply a process of talking until you persuade the listener to take action. Effective salespeople however, know to stop talking and simply listen. The best salespeople will listen and help you sell to yourself.<br /><br />This skill needn't be used simply for the successful completion of a commercial transaction - it adds enormous value to all of the encounters you have during the day and makes for a better life. It's also an acquired habit.<br /><br />How can you improve your listening? First, by admitting even the <em>slightest</em> possibility that you might not <em>always</em> listen with absolute effectiveness. So there is some room for improvement, however small. <em>Commit to improving. </em><br /><br />When you are serious about listening to someone, first be sure you turn to them and <em>look at them</em>. And look into the windows of their soul - their eyes. Remembering (and working) to look a speaker in the eyes requires you to focus your attention on the speaker.<br /><br />Next is that little voice in your head, that can take you to where the speaker is heading or it can take you in a thousand divergent directions. Don't quash the little voice, the thoughts in your head, but focus them as you have focused your gaze - on the speaker. Get that little voice to work towards effective listening. Use it to remember your questions and organize the speaker's words for you.<br /><br />Very often, I don't hear the questions about what other person has said, until after the conversation is over. This is what I like to call the "Columbo syndrome" (yes, after the TV detective). Usually, I was thinking ahead of the speaker or I was thinking about myself and missed thinking about and acting on the questions I was accumulating.<br /><br />An example, me in the eternal quest of supremacy over the office copier - I'm currently losing:<br /><br />My Little Voice (MLV): I really need to get this copied - I have to distribute it before people go home. &#%@!<br /><br />Me: "%#@*! Jammed! Hey, Amy, how do you clear this?"<br /><br />Coworker Amy: "You need to open the side of the copier and then it..."<br /><br />MLV: I know you have to open the side in addition to the front, I've already looked for the jammed paper....<br /><br />Me (interrupting): "Yeah, I've gotten the side open and flipped open levers A, B, C but I didn't see the paper."<br /><br />Coworker Amy: "and then it tells you where it's jammed with either a red L.E.D. or on the display panel."<br /><br />MLV: Why didn't I see any paper jam - is there another problem it could be having? It didn't tell me where it was jammed, so there must be another problem.<br /><br />Me: "uh huh" I say as I poke more levers inside the evil contraption.<br /><br />Coworker Amy: "See ya"<br /><br />MLV: It tells you where it's jammed? Where?<br /><br />Me: "Bye"<br /><br />MLV: She's gone, how are you going to figure out where it's jammed? You could've asked Amy...<br /><br />Me: "Grrrr"<br /><br />In this little vignette, I hope you see that if I'd just focused on Amy, I would've heard her completely and asked the obvious question. The fact I interrupted her should've told me that I wasn't paying attention!<br /><br />I should've pulled my hands out of the machine, looked at Amy and concentrated on organizing <em>her</em> thoughts in <em>my</em> brain, putting them in the places I needed to keep them organized. I needed to be "in the moment".<br /><br />Other ways to focus on the other person:<br /></p><blockquote></blockquote><ul><li>Reflect what you have heard - put the other person's message in your own words and check with the speaker that you have it clear.</li><li>Check on your emotions - what do you feel right now? Does this go along with the speakers words? If not, you should probably acknowledge it, and in the flow of the the communication let the other person in on it as well. Remember that these emotions are playing across your face and in your body language - probably long before your little voice spoke up to you.</li><li>Remember your questions as they come up and see if you get the answer without asking. If not, when it's a good time, ask!</li><li>Think in terms of the other person. Above, Amy is thinking about trying to tell you how to clear the machine. She is not thinking about why I have to have these copies in five minutes. Remember that her goal is helping you unjam the copier - since that is what you asked.</li></ul><p>In short: Remember to Turn, Look, and Listen.</p><p>This is a lifelong process, but the results can be immediate. People can tell when you're listening.</p>Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1092860915425208292004-08-18T15:34:00.000-04:002004-08-18T16:28:35.426-04:00What?The value of questions is endless. They can keep you looking smart and capable - <a href="http://publicspeakerone.blogspot.com/2004/02/nothing-to-say-then-dont-say-anything.html">as previously discussed</a> - they can also make you more capable and smarter. Asking questions doesn't just provide new insights, ideas and facts from others, but can provide direction to your own thoughts as well.
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<br />When you communicate, somewhere, somehow you reach a decision that you need to say something. Getting to that decision is where questions - to yourself - provide enormous benefit.
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<br />Learn to ask yourself the fundamental question: "What do I want?"
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<br />This simple act is a tool for achievement, happiness, and direction in life. And it's not selfish to ask yourself this. Unless it's the only question you ask...
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<br />You have a reason for saying something, what is it? Do you want to learn, flatter someone, console someone, teach something, make people laugh, get a refund, avoid a conflict, or simply pass the time getting to know someone? What do you want?
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<br />Know why you are communicating, so you're better at answering the question of "How should I communicate this?" Write it, whisper it, send flowers, yell, grovel, or hold your tongue? How depends on what and why. Which you won't know, if you haven't asked!
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<br />One of the biggest advantages to writing over speaking is that it forces you to ask these questions. I knew that I wanted to share how important asking yourself questions can be. The tone and organization of this little monograph flowed from that answer. Once you've given this much conscious thought to what you want to communicate, you have fixed in your mind a goal and direction.
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<br />Moving that mind-set over to speaking is no easy task. If you don't already have a habit of asking yourself the "What do I want?" question regularly, well, it's an acquired taste. My brain seems wired to ask "how" questions and not the "what" and "why" types. In every arena of life, questions are more and more valuable and worth the time invested in <a href="http://www.standrews.austin.tx.us/library/Questioning.htm">making them work for you</a>.
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<br />Remember:
<br /><ul><li>What do I want?</li><li>What do I want to say?</li><li>Why?</li><li>How do I want to say it?</li><li>When?</li><li>Where?</li></ul>
<br />Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1091207130555109912004-07-30T13:00:00.000-04:002004-07-30T13:05:30.556-04:00When your life depends on effective communicationThis is a link very much worth checking out. Dealing with the<a href="http://www.d-n-i.net/fcs/leland_ooda_police.htm"> interpersonal communications skills</a> of police and military, it provides insight to the importance of just how you communicate.
<br />Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1090961446062887322004-07-27T16:49:00.000-04:002004-07-27T16:50:46.063-04:00Listen hereAs a speaker, you spend a lot of time thinking about the listener. But, how much time to you spend thinking about <em>listening</em>? How good a listener are you?
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<br />Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1091047842213657652004-07-27T16:25:00.000-04:002004-07-28T16:50:42.213-04:00Speak up - How you deliverHow you deliver the words that you've thought over, organized and groomed for grammar, is quite simply, your last opportunity to blow it. Or as the post-modernist-optimistic self-help guru's would say: "It's your chance to succeed and exceed!"
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<br />It's actually not as grim as I might put it, since usually, the audience is pulling for you. They want you to be interesting, captivating and persuasive. They like the feeling that you are in control and taking them along with you.
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<br />Remember this though: If you are speaking from a prepared text, a written speech - rehearse it, memorize it and condense it into notes so that you can deliver your speech to the audience, not down into the pile of papers which you are hanging onto for dear life.
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<br />I listened to a speaker at the Democratic National Convention who slowly, clearly and methodically <em>read</em> her prepared remarks. I listened hard and decided her words were worthwhile, but there was no passion behind them, she wasn't speaking directly to me, and as a result my mind wandered. I can't even remember who she was.
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<br /><p><strong>Why rehearse?</strong>
<br />Think of all the elements that make up your delivery:
<br /></p><ul><li>Volume</li><li>Vocal pitch</li><li>Facial expression</li><li>Gestures </li><li>Body language</li><li>Speed (or lack thereof)</li></ul><p>I'm sure this list misses things - it's simply to show you there are a number of things you'll need to work on every time you open your mouth. Can you remember your point, your words and make music out of them without practice and rehearsal? </p><p>Rehearse. In the car, the bathroom, while walking the dog and whenever else you make time. The importance of what you are saying and why you are speaking determines the amount of time needed practicing it. Would you do less when participating in a piano recital or sporting event?</p><p>The more you do it the better you'll get.</p>
<br />Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1090961315319840122004-07-08T15:58:00.000-04:002004-07-27T16:48:35.320-04:00How you say it - Grammar countsContinuing with the three way breakdown of <em>How</em> you say things, out of
<br /><ul><li>Structure</li><li>Grammar</li><li>Delivery</li></ul><p>Now we are looking at grammar "<a href="http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=grammar&x=14&y=18">the principles or rules of an art, science, or technique </a>" of communication. Everything on the language of what you say, from vocabulary, sentence structure to figures of speech, falls in this category.</p><p><span style="font-size:130%;">Grammar</span></p><p>One of my favorite examples of grammar as an effective tool is the question posed by Groucho Marx: "So, when did you stop beating your wife?" </p><p>Grammar is the easiest and hardest thing to effect in your speaking. You have a whole storehouse of grammatical patterns built into your everyday speech and thinking. If these consist of good habits, then life is good otherwise you have that much more work ahead of you. If you need to improve your use of words, your common figures of speech, you overall way of string words into sentences and thoughts, the good news is you have a lot of opportunities to do it - <em>whenever you open your mouth</em>. The bad news is you will need to break old habits, conscious of what you say and how <em>whenever you open your mouth</em>.</p><p>Lose bad habits</p><p>Look for easy things first - cuss words and outright obscenities first. Then look for otherwise over-used phrases "duh", "you know", "whatever". Listen to yourself carefully. For a real eye opener try a voice operated recorder - just carry it around in a pocket for a day or so. You'll listen and cringe. Kids are also helpful in pointing out some of these foibles.</p><p>Once you are attacking these verbal bad habits, they'll often cause you to fill in the spaces with other sounds - um's and ah's that you'll need to prevent lest they get added as another verbal twitch.</p><p>Try to replace bad habits with good habits, instead of always simply going cold turkey. For instance, replace "you know" with "do you understand?" This is a helpful feedback mechanism and it's long enough that you'll drop it when you don't need, just to save the effort.</p><p>Have a goal</p><p>As you conquer your bad habits - replacing bad habits with better habits, you'll slowly acquire a growing awareness of what you say, as you say it. At this point, you can start thinking ahead more easily, thinking about the goal, the reason your point of what you are saying.</p><p>Now you are integrating structure!</p><p>There's more...</p>
<br />Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1090951171449915982004-06-28T13:52:00.000-04:002004-07-27T15:57:19.930-04:00How you speak is as important as what you speak<em>How</em> you say something carries as much weight as <em>what</em> you say.
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<br />If you are disorganized or offensive or even too loud or too soft, your listener will not concentrate on what you are saying. They're spending too much time thinking about how you are speaking.
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<br />How you speak covers a multitude of topics, but it easier to break the elements down to:
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<br /><ul><li>Structure - How you organize what you say</li><li>Grammar - How you word what you say </li><li>Delivery - How you say it, including eye contact, voice control and body language</li></ul><p><span style="font-size:130%;">Structure</span></p><p>The structure of what you are saying starts with one simple thing: <em>What's your point?</em> </p><p>If you start speaking and you don't know what your point is, why you are speaking? In most contexts you really needn't bother to start yammering simply to add your bray to the fray.</p><p>Now this doesn't preclude speaking to move along a conversation that's just for fun. That is a point in and of itself. Even in a pleasant conversation, if you simply repeat what the previous person said or repeat yourself, you will not add to the conversation and you'll be left out or the conversation will simply wither away. </p><p>Participating in a pleasant conversation is a different reason for speaking than trying to convince your boss to give you a raise. Having a different point is going to change the structure of what you say and this is a key example of it. </p><p>When your point is "I'm important to this company and I would like a raise", your overall structure might come down to:</p><ol><li>I have made valuable contributions to the company this year - don't you agree?</li><li>I haven't had a raise recently.</li><li>Please give me a raise.</li><li>I know you think you can't give me a raise because of X, but you should because of Y.</li><li>Thanks for the raise.</li></ol><p>Now this isn't a huge mental effort, but having a structure means having a plan and means having thought out what you are doing and why you are speaking. A good place to start.
<br /></p><p>The <em>how</em> of speaking is separate from the <em>what</em>. This is actually a topic that has been thought on. studied and written about for thousands of years. It is called <strong>Rehetoric</strong>. This is often used in a pejorative sense - that rhetoric obscures the true meaning of speech as "<a href="http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=Rhetoric&x=13&y=18">in insincere or grandiloquent language</a>".</p><p>Now though, you have an idea of the importance and value of Rhetoric - properly the study of writing or speaking as a means of communication or persuasion and how important it is each time you open your mind through your mouth. As such, here is a good introduction, a <a href="http://humanities.byu.edu/rhetoric/silva.htm">Rhetoricae</a>.
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<br />Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1090948677524574622004-06-27T13:13:00.000-04:002004-07-27T14:02:01.366-04:00How you speak = How you think<strong>Whenever you open your mouth to speak</strong>, remember this:
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<br />How well you speak is an indication of how well you think.
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<br />If you speak well, it reflects an ability to think well. Conversely, if you think well, very often (particularly in comfortable situations) you will speak well.
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<br />Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1084385207226119852004-05-12T13:51:00.000-04:002004-07-27T13:48:42.753-04:00The Speaker's Silver BulletIf you are looking for one important thing, the silver bullet, the undiscovered miracle of public speaking, it is:
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<br /> <strong><a href="http://www.toastmasters.org/">Toastmasters International</a></strong>.
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<br />For a first year expense of less than $50, you get regular experiences speaking in front of a group and getting the most valuable feedback you are likely to ever receive. It's like having a roomful of speaking tutors at your disposal. And you get to sit in the role of teacher and evaluator as well, tuning your critical listening and thinking skill further.
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<br />You'll get a book that will take you on a 10 lesson course in the fundamentals of public speaking - something that you will come back to time and time again.
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<br />There is no better avenue for learning public speaking.
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<br />Now that I've obviated this website, I guess I'll go home now. I just wish I could keep a good thing to myself....!
<br />Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1077890399701925952004-02-27T11:48:00.000-05:002004-08-18T16:32:01.096-04:00Nothing to say? Then don't say anything! That's why this bit of blog has been so long in coming. Much like any good speech, toast or presentation, a blog should have something to say and should say it well. Concise, well-organized and thoughtful is preferred to wordy, rambling and haphazard.
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<br />In that vein, the thought occurs "What if I have nothing to say but I must say something?". For those times when you are in situation where you need to exhibit some leadership, thoughtfulness or insight - but find yourself (momentarily) bereft of any of these - don't simply open your mouth and start yammering. Instead, rise above the fray and simply <strong>Ask a question.</strong>
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<br />Grasp onto whatever threads of conversation you have heard and think of the basics: What? Where? Why? When? How? Who?
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<br />There are always questions, you just need to keep a <a href="http://questioning.org/Q7/toolkit.html#anchor173647">questioning</a> frame of mind. So often we are called on to know that it seems we can't ask questions and show that we don't know. But remember, the quest to know more always begins with a question.
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<br />Sometimes it's hard to ask the real questions you have, to the people you are with. Such as your boss. I can understand the dynamic where quizzing the boss isn't going to get you very far. So, try asking yourself the question. Very often the phrase "I was asking myself..." is the perfect way to open a line of questions to a group without threatening, challenging or badgering anyone.
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<br />Try a mental exercise (or as a game with friends): As you listen to or participate in a conversation, pretend the <em>only</em> thing you can do is ask questions. No statements, assertions, or exclamations that aren't in the form of a question. It's actually pretty fun.
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<br />Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325793.post-1074032241855645902004-01-13T17:11:00.000-05:002004-07-27T13:51:31.116-04:00Eschewing the InaneHow to avoid the inane initial post of the "This is a red letter day - This blog has sprung to life and that's about all I have to say!" ?
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<br />Here's how....
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<br />Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11472501864630687204noreply@blogger.com2